We've all heard this expression "Love Cup," right?
When I would be angry as a young child, my mama would ask me, "is your love cup empty or half full?" I would immediately stop in my anger and evaluate that question. Sometimes with a pouty face and tears running down my cheeks I would reply, "It's all the way empty, Mama," as I reached for a hug. There was so much wisdom in that line, as I reflect back as a woman. It was only today that I remembered this and thought to myself, what a perfect set of tools she gave me.
As I walk within the world today faced with so many personalities coming from so many directions, I sometimes find myself absorbing other people's anger. When it brings me to tears, is when I have to stop and realize that the person who is angry must have been hurt or is coming from a place where their "LOVE CUP" might be empty.
Filling our love cup is very subjective, however. I can make a list of things that fill my love cup and promptly display them here, but those things are not the same for everyone. People experience love differently, and there is no one correct way to do it. We often times never learn how to fill our own love cup and therefore we depend on others to fill it for us. This is not sustainable. While we need to help fill others cup at times, we need to make sure we know ours is at least 3/4 full, at all times.
This is where that very trendy topic of "self-care" comes into place. We have to know how to take care of ourselves; mentally, emotionally, intellectually & physically. Sometimes we almost have to tear ourselves apart to figure out what the root of our own issue is. We have to spend time with that issue. We have to figure out our emotions and why. We have to then heal from that. We have to forgive. We have to let go of our ego. We have to let go of the pain. We have to put stuff in our cup that brings us joy, peace, serenity, and pleasure.
Equally, we must remember to hand out pieces of "lov" (that's intentionally spelled that way. That's Lov(e) with no "E-go"). Little ways that we can do this in life are:
Handing out a compliment: "Great job today." "You wear your clothes nicely." "I like your style."
Saying "Thank you."
Greeting someone with a warm hug and kiss on each cheek.
Opening the door for someone.
Ask someone about themselves. Be interested in what they have to say.
Encourage their dreams.
It's important that we are giving these things with no expectations or intentions other than good intentions for that person. It should absolutely nothing to do with ourself. It's just because, they are a fellow human on this planet.
We are human, and in our human nature we are not built to walk this earth solely alone, divided and separated. While it's important to be self sufficient we must realize that "Social Wellness" is one of the 8 dimensions of our 360 degree (whole) wellness plan.
If you have never filled your own love up before, try this exercise. Keep little pieces of paper in your pocket and a pen. Write down things as you go about your week, that bring you joy, happiness, peace, serenity, or love. Each time a piece of paper has markings on it, put it in an actual cup that you really, really enjoy drinking from. Then wake up one morning, 15 minutes before it's your normal time to wake up and take them all out and read them. Does that color, that song, that experience, that thing make you feel full inside? Keep what does and refine the rest. It's an active process that may take years to perfect. But once you know and understand what you need to fill your love cup, it will be easier to begin the process of keeping it full or identifying when it gets too low.
Sending Lov & Light
Chaitra & 👩🏽🍳Chef Lara™️
360 Wellness Collective, Inc.